Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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