I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
