Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His nipple licking is glorious
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