it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
