I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
