you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
