Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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