The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize