I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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