His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
