you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
