If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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