I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
