I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
