i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
