TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
