covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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