I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
