Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
