I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
