i permit you to call me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
