Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
