How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The power of my boobs compel you
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
