he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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