You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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