I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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