I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
