Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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