was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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