cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
