Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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