im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
