pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
