I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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