I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize