you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The power of my boobs compel you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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