is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize