U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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