I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
