did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
