I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
