spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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