Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
