the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
