Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
