The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
