No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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