Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
