I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
