whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
