I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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