Say something about gay babies.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
