i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
