I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
