i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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