You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
