The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
