somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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