I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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