I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Panties = found
Randomize
