the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
