Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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